Spy Assignment

Turtle’s Bar & Grill

6:08 PM

Enter the restaurant with my group member Susie (we’ve decided to keep each other company on this rather strange adventure). It has a nice, lively atmosphere. The mellow lights reflecting off of the walls painted gold and light yellow create a warm ambiance, as do the candles at each table. It’s almost too noisy to hear any individual conversation, but there is a young couple sitting next to us and talking quietly.


Young Couple

Young Woman: “Well, I ate a lot, so I’m ready to drink a lot of wine! … Have I met Andrew?”

Young Man: “You have a boyfriend; hands off.”

Young Woman: “Who cares?”


Young Couple

Young Woman: “Baby, give me the check!”

Young Man: “You know, when you’re a multimillionaire you can be my sugar mama, but for now just let me pay.” [Young Man takes Young Girl’s wallet and won’t give it back. In the end, Young Man pays.]


There’s a family group sitting nearby; what looks like two kids, one set of parents and another of grandparents. Unfortunately, they are sitting too far away for successful eavesdropping, but they look interesting.


Small family comes in – mom, dad, and a baby, maybe 1 year old. Baby is wearing a poofy brown jacket and a blue sweater underneath it. Waitress brings a high chair over for him, and mom sits by his side. She hands him a menu that he can’t read but plays with and considers eating.


The girl sitting behind me has a lemon drop, yum! She appears to be on a date with the man sitting across from her. I think it may actually be an uncomfortable first date, which explains the lemon drop, because in my experience those are almost pure vodka.


Young Couple leaves. I’ve decided they are very cute. Young Man puts his arm around Young Woman. Aww.


Another cute baby! Enters with her dad wearing a pink and purple jacket. Her soft blonde hair is in a ponytail. She practices walking. The dad sees me smiling at her and smiles back – I’m not a very good spy.

Baby Girl sits right by us! She says, “Ba ba” and bangs her hands on the chairs. Looking around, she scratches the back of her head with her tiny fingers. Starts coloring in the book her dad gave her. I’m jealous. Says, “Dada!” and grins, pink crayon in hand. Dad coos gently at the girl, proudly watching her color.


New family enters. Son, daughter, and parents. They discuss what to order. The daughter is very pretty and wearing a black Oregon hoodie and jeans, but she can’t be older than 15. She gets extra cherries with her Shirley Temple, a girl after my own heart. Her dad looks like the type who enjoys good-natured teasing.


New young couple is seated near us. A pink frilly drink delivered to the table. Turns out it’s for the guy…hmm. At least he doesn’t drink it with one pinky finger pointed up.


A couple of older women (maybe in their mid-60s) one sporting that short, perm-fried hairdo I love oh so much, are sitting with their to-go boxes. They each take out what look like magazine or newspaper clippings – perhaps coupons – and discuss them loudly. Unfortunately, it’s in a language I don’t understand. A lot of help they are to me.


Two small kids accompanied by their father meet up with their mom. The youngest, a little boy in a red coat, yells, “Ba ba!” and runs to hug his mom. She is sitting with a big group of people – I’m not sure how they’re all acquainted.


Baby Girl and her dad behind us are trying to have a conversation:

Baby Girl: “Bas! Bas!”

Dad: “What?”

In response, Baby Girl smiles at a saltshaker and points at a wall. Dad points at a different wall.


Little boy who hugged his mom is led to the bathroom by his big sister.


Baby Girl starts playing with a packet of butter. This is messy, so her dad takes it away.


Two college-age guys sit down and start discussing the game that’s on the television in the restaurant:

“45 to 55? That sucks!” yells the red-shirted guy with a buzz cut. He taps his head while surveying the menu. “Just tryna find a steak!”


I notice Black Hoodie Girl is eating a corn dog, which I find strange in a seemingly nice restaurant like this. Also, I think corn dogs are disgusting. She dips it in ketchup and I have to stop watching.


Red Shirt Guy orders. Says something else about steak.


A little boy carrying a small yellow bag enters the room with his mom and apparently a cold. He sneezes then coughs, and his mom covers his mouth for him. That’s love.

A large man wearing a leather jacket enters the room and says, “Wow. It’s crowded.” His date is also wearing a leather jacket.


A blonde woman sits down at Cute Young Couple’s old table. She has her cell phone out and seems to be waiting for someone. Perhaps she got stood up? She calls someone: “Hey, are there two sides to this place? I think I’m in the wrong part.” After she hangs up, she asks the waitress where she is and then says, “Can I get the pinot gris?” Apparently she’s in the right place, but still no company…wonder who the mystery person is.


Small Family

Dad tosses little boy in blue sweater in the air a couple times; he giggles.


Our waitress asks us, “What kind of work are you guys doing?” and I end up telling her about the assignment. Again, worst spy in the world.


Mom and her son are playing with action figures and dinosaurs on the table. They also have a bouncy ball. I love bouncy balls!


Blue Sweater Baby toddles around, the really cute kind of toddling where the baby can’t really walk yet so there’s a lot of bouncing and head bobbling involved. The Dinosaur Toy Kid starts crawling around on chairs and growling to entertain Blue Sweater Baby, who for the most part ignores him. Dino Kid switches modes and begins trying to stick a piece of paper in the candle. His mom seems tired.


Blonde Woman’s mystery person shows up. It’s a friend, not a date. The friend smells very strongly of cheap perfume.

Blonde Woman: “So guess what? It’s our lucky night, $1 off wines!” Cheap Perfume also orders a drink. It’ll be a good night for these two.

Cheap Perfume: “Is my makeup okay? It got messed up and I had to fix it in the car.”

Blonde Woman: “Why’d it get messed up?”

Cheap Perfume: “’Cause Pete is visiting!”

Blonde Woman: “What? Who’s Pete?”

Cheap Perfume: “I told you he was comin’ by to see me real quick!”

Blonde Woman: “I guess I should’ve known – ‘He’s comin’ over, it’s gonna be a quickie!’”

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1 Response to Spy Assignment

  1. jennimo13 says:

    I eat at this restaurant frequently! Sometimes the quality of service isn’t consistent, but I love this place. Great salads!

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